Sweet Children’s Chatter Part 1

      Mommy was pregnant and emotional one day and went in the bedroom to cry it out. “What doing, Mommy?” asked Melissa (21 months).
       “I came in here to cry,” she lamented.
      With great concern, Melissa patted Mommy and said blithely, “Sing you a song.” She proceeded to sing one sentence and then announced, “Have surprise for you.” With that she leaned over to give Mommy a kiss but instead licked her cheek. Quite surprised, Mommy laughed, so Melissa repeated the lick, and Mommy laughed some more.
       “Feel better?” Melissa asked.
       “Yeah,” smiled Mommy as she gave Melissa a squeeze, “I feel better.”

*  *  *  *

      TerriLu and I were getting ready for a date, and were pressed for time. Melissa (2) was a bit fussy because she couldn’t get anyone’s devoted attention. To help keep Melissa happy, Mommy offered some popcorn, one of Melissa’s favorite treats.
       “No popcorn,” informed Melissa.
       “Would you like some ice cream?” proposed Mommy.
       “No,” responded Melissa.
       “Do you want some M&Ms?”
       “No,” Melissa sighed, “I just want Mommy.”

*  *  *  *

      One evening after a touching conversation between Mommy and Melissa (2), Melissa remarked, “Mommy, I’m glad that you were born into our family.”

*  *  *  *

      While talking about baby Michael and how special he is, Melissa (2) added sweetly, “We don’t want him to cry, because we love him.”

*  *  *  *

      One day while Mommy was raking leaves in the yard, Melissa (2) observed, “You’re a good mom.”
       “Why am I a good mom?” asked Mommy.
       “Because you’re raking the leaves,” explained Melissa

*  *  *  *

      After a frustrating experience, Mommy sat down in the hallway and cried. Sensing Mommy’s unhappiness, Melissa (2) tenderly hugged her and patted her and sweetly comforted, “Don’t worry. It will be okay. Daddy will be home soon.”

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (2) found a heart-shaped cookie cutter in a drawer one day. She held it up and explained, “Mommy, this says, ‘I love you.’”

*  *  *  *

      One day Melissa (3) wanted to know why Mommy couldn’t lift the heavy box of books so Mommy explained that she didn’t have enough strength in her arms. “Here,” offered Melissa placing her own arm alongside Mom’s. “I’ll give you some of mine.”

*  *  *  *

      At Thanksgiving the family stopped to see Gary, Pat, Kari, and Staci Gill. Melissa (4) gave them all hugs and then stroked Patty on the back several times as they talked. On the way home Melissa explained, “I patted her because her name is ‘Pat.’”

*  *  *  *

      Nana had recorded several fun stories on tape for the grandchildren. Melissa (5) was telling Nana how the family had listened to the stories on the long drive to Nana and Grandpa’s house. “I liked the one about the old man,” Missy explained, “where he fixed the broken heart.”
       “That’s a really sweet story,” commented Nana.
       “Yeah,” Missy said. “It’s so touching.”
       “Yes, it’s very touching,” Nana agreed.
       “I don’t know what touching means,” Melissa confessed.
       “Well,” explained Nana, “it’s when something feels all warm and good in your heart.”
       “Like a squeeze?” Missy suggested.
       “That’s right.”
       “I understand.”

*  *  *  *

      When Michael (3) really liked something or heard about something new, he would often exclaim, “Oh, I wuv (love) that!”

*  *  *  *

      After hugging several adults goodbye, Michael (3) explained, “I give big hugs to big peopow (people).”

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (5) and Michael (3) had just gotten home from a friend’s birthday party where Michael had won the Pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey contest twice. After they finished telling all the details about the party including the fact that Michael had given his extra prize to Melissa, Michael added, “I’m gwad (glad) that I won that donkey game two times so I could share a pwize (prize) with Mewissa.”

*  *  *  *

      TerriLu and I often stressed that we didn’t play favorites with the children – we love them all the same. One day Michael (4) explained to me, “I love you and Mommy the same size.”

*  *  *  *

      The Sunday School teacher told the class that she knew that Heavenly Father lives. Michael (4) raised his hand and said softly, “I love Heavenly Father and I love my mom and dad.”

*  *  *  *

      The kids always loved to go to Washington so they could play with their cousins. During one visit Michael (4) said to his cousin Christopher, “I love you like my own brother.”

*  *  *  *

      The kids and I visited Mom every day at the hospital following her surgery. On Monday, I went to bring Mom home while Melissa (8) and Michael (6) were in school and Jonathan (4) and William stayed again at Sharon’s home. After a while Jonny said to Sharon, “I want to go see Dad because I haven’t seen him in a year.”

*  *  *  *

       “Jonathan, how did you get to be such a great kid?” I asked one day.
       “Because I’m part of the flamly (family),” Jonathan (4) replied.

*  *  *  *

       “How come you’re so nice, Jonny?” I asked one day.
       “Because everyone is nice to me,” replied Jonathan (4).

*  *  *  *

      One day Mommy and Jonathan (4) were talking about happiness. Mommy asked, “Jonny, what makes you sad?”
       “When people are mean to me,” he replied.
       “What makes you happy?”
       “When I can do things for other people.”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (6) was talking with Mom one day. “We have a happy family,” he stated. “And you’re a great mom.”
       “But I’m not perfect,” Mom confessed.
       “But I think you’re perfect,” Michael said sweetly.

*  *  *  *

      The family had stopped one last time to say goodbye to their neighborhood friends before the drive and the move to Washington state. As Michael (6), Jonathan (4), and I pulled out in the U-Haul truck, I asked, “Do you like riding in this big truck?”
       “Yeah,” Jonathan sighed halfheartedly, “but I like our friends more.”

*  *  *  *

Bedtime Children’s Chatter Part 3

      William (4) was sick and extremely tired one evening when Mom announced it was time for bed.
       “Oh, yeah?” whined William, using a phrase he had recently picked up.
       “Yes, it is,” explained Mom seriously.
       “Oh, yeah!?” protested William with a little more vigor and volume.
       “Yes, William,” replied Mom, almost with a smile. “Don’t challenge me on this. You’re tired and need your sleep so you can get better.”
      William thought about that for a moment and then huffed, “Well, Dad’s bigger and he can challenge you on this.”

*  *  *  *

       “Where’s Daddy?” asked William (4) one evening.
       “He’s at a meeting,” replied Mommy.
       “But he needs to be home,” complained William who was missing his dad.
       “Well,” explained Mom, “he won’t be back for a little while.”
       “But it’s past his bedtime,” moaned William.

*  *  *  *

      One night Mommy got into bed and William (4) climbed in with her. When I came in to get ready for bed, he asked, “William, how come you’re still awake?”
       “Daddy!” huffed William, “I’m not!”
       “Well, then,” smiled Dad, “what are you doing?”
       “I’m asleep.” He thought for a second and muttered, “Half asleep.”

*  *  *  *

      William (4) woke up coughing in the middle of the night and I went in to get him a drink of water. As I tucked him back into bed and William tried to roll over, the covers sort of wrapped around William. “Hey, Dad!” squawked William. “You’re surrounding me.”

*  *  *  *

      One night William (4) climbed into our bed and cuddled under the covers.
       “William,” Mom said, “you’ll be cold if you just wear a night shirt and underwear. You need pajama bottoms on to stay warm.”
      William snuggled in and replied, “But your covers will keep me warm.”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (10) and William (4) were yakking as they prepared for bed one evening. When William mentioned his fear of the dark Michael counseled, “William, you can just pretend it’s not scary dark like at night. Just pretend it’s something else.”
       “Yeah,” blurted William. “Pretend it’s a black outage.”

*  *  *  *

      After going to bed one night William (5) started crying because he was scared so I went in to reassure him. When William felt better, I sent him into the bathroom for one last stop before bed. William came back out after looking at himself in the mirror and asked, “Dad, can you see the red spots on my face?”
      Daddy looked and replied, “Yes, I can William.”
       “That says how hard I cried.”

*  *  *  *

Bedtime Children’s Chatter Part 2

      Jonathan (5) asked if he could wear one of my T-shirts instead of pajamas. “Sure,” I agreed. “How about an HP one that matches the one I’m wearing?”
      Jonny came downstairs a few minutes later attired in the matching shirt. “Dad, you said these shirts are the same.”
       “They are,” I asserted.
      Jonny held his arms out with the adult short sleeves hanging down to his wrists. “Nuh, uh!” he declared. “Mine are long sleeves!”

*  *  *  *

      One night I read Jonathan (5) a bedtime story about the little red hen. At the end, Jonathan asserted, “I would help the red hen do all that.” Then after thinking a moment, he added, “Except I wouldn’t use the knife because I might cut myself and I wouldn’t put it in the oven because I might get burned.”

*  *  *  *

      One evening I was working at the computer while William (2) sat on my lap. Mommy came in and mentioned that it was time for William to get into his pajamas and go night-night. As she scooped him up, he clamped his legs onto my arm and squawked, “Help me, Daddy! Help me!”

*  *  *  *

      Cindy, a special friend of the family, was talking to William (2) just after his nap. “Oh, William,” she gushed as she gave him a big hug, “I just love you!”
      William, who was still half asleep and quite irritable, wailed, “No, my mommy loves me!”

*  *  *  *

      One night at bedtime I told William (3) to climb into bed so I could start reading a story. William, who will use any excuse to avoid going to bed, objected, “But then I can’t see the pictures.”
       “William, there aren’t any pictures to look at,” I explained as I flipped through the pages for William to see. “You need to get back in bed.”
      William thought about that for a moment and then moaned, “But then I can’t see the words.”

*  *  *  *

      After bedtime stories one night I sang, “I wonder when He comes again, will herald angels sing?”
       “Dad,” Michael (9) interrupted, “who’s Harold Angel?” After I explained what herald angels are, Michael confided, “I’ve always wondered about that. I thought it said, ‘Will Harold Angel sing?’ “

*  *  *  *

       “Mommy!” William (3) called from his bed one evening. “I need you.”
       “You only need me because you want to get up,” responded Mommy.
       “Yeah!!” wailed William.

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (7) and Mommy listened to William (3) gently snoring as he napped one afternoon. Jonathan giggled, “He sounds like some kind of musical instrument.”

*  *  *  *

      One morning at 3:00 a.m. William (4) called down the hallway to me. “I’m scared,” he cried. I dutifully rescued William and plopped him into our bed. William snuggled over by Mommy and asked, “Can I cuddle with you, Mommy?”

*  *  *  *

      One day I mentioned something about waterbeds and William (4) pointed out, “I like waterbeds.”
       “Why do you like waterbeds?” I asked.
       “Because you can do this,” William explained as he bobbed up and down on the living room couch. “And they’re scumfy (comfy, comfortable).”

*  *  *  *

      William (4) walked into our bedroom with squinted eyes late one evening when he should have been asleep. “You’re supposed to be in bed,” I suggested.
      Ignoring Daddy’s statement, William asked hopefully, “Was I sleep walking?”
       “No,” I chuckled.
       “But my eyes were closed and I was walking.”

*  *  *  *

      One night I had a dream about Michael (10) and me watching an eagle. The eagle flew up high, then swooped down and snatched a rabbit from the ground. Michael asked, “Will he eat it or keep it as a pet?”
      The kids all laughed and William (4) asked, “Did he really do that?”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (10) went upstairs to wake up William (4) one morning. “William,” Michael pleaded urgently, “you need to get up because Mom’s taking you to Kevin’s house in fifteen minutes.”
      William rolled away from Michael and moaned, “Then wake me in fifteen minutes.”
       “But, William,” Michael explained, “Mommy will be pulling out of the driveway in fifteen minutes.”
       “Then in fifteen minutes I’ll run downstairs and eat really fast and run out to the driveway and jump in the car.”

*  *  *  *

Bedtime Children’s Chatter Part 1

      William climbed into our bed and Mom asked, “Why don’t you get into your bed, William?”
       “Because I like to sleep in your bed.”
       “But Daddy always puts you in your bed after you fall asleep,” explained Mom.
       “Huh uh,” contended William. “Because I wake up in your bed.”
       “That’s because you get up in the middle of the night and climb back into our bed.”

*  *  *  *

      Late one evening when the family was out visiting, Melissa (2) suggested, “I’m tired. Let’s go home and take a nap.”

*  *  *  *

      For several days after hearing the bedtime story of The Three Billy Goats Gruff, Melissa (2) went around the house saying in a high-pitched voice, “Don’t eat me. I’m too little.”

*  *  *  *

      At 2:00 a.m. one morning Melissa (2) came into our bedroom and announced, “I took a nap.”

*  *  *  *

      One afternoon Melissa (2) wanted to take a nap out in the living room instead of in her bedroom. “Are there any monsters in the living room?” Melissa asked Mommy.
       “No, we don’t have any monsters,” assured Mommy. “Just close your eyes and think about flowers and birds and lots of your favorite things.”
       “Okay,” Melissa responded blithely, “I will do that for you.”

*  *  *  *

      One morning Melissa (2) announced, “I remember what you told me last night.”
       “What did I tell you?” Mommy inquired.
       “I can’t remember,” replied Melissa.

*  *  *  *

      Mommy concluded the bedtime fairy tale, “And Snow White and her prince lived happily ever after.”
       “Just like you and Daddy!” Melissa (2) beamed blithely.

*  *  *  *

      One evening at bedtime I sang a new version of the song Little Rabbit Foo-Foo by substituting Melissa, Michael, Mommy, and Daddy, each on separate verses, for the word “rabbit.”
      As I sang the verse about “Little Daddy Foo-Foo hoppin’ through the meadow…” Melissa (3) interrupted, “That’s just pretend, huh?”
       “What’s pretend?” I asked.
       “Daddy’s aren’t little,” she corrected. “They’re big, huh?”

*  *  *  *

      One evening I read the story of Rapunzel to Melissa (3). At the appropriate time, I asked, “What could the prince do when he saw Rapunzel’s long hair hanging from the tower?”
       “Pull it?” surmised Melissa.

*  *  *  *

      As Mommy and I went out the door on our date, I mentioned to the babysitter, “You’re welcome to anything in the refrigerator.”
      Melissa (4) poked her head around the corner and added, “And you’re welcome to read me any stories.”

*  *  *  *

      For the kids’ bedtime story one night, I told about Joseph and the coat of many colors. When I finished, Melissa (4) asked, “Did Joseph get gloves of many colors?”

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (4) was telling Michael (2) a bedtime story and making it up as she went along. She told of how Michael and Jonathan were kidnapped and she was going to call for Mommy and me. “But they couldn’t help,” she lamented, “because they were mom-and-dad-napped.”

*  *  *  *

      After the evening TV program ended, I announced, “Okay, time for bed.”
       “When you say ‘pwease’ (please), then I will,” responded Michael (3).

*  *  *  *

      Mommy and I were sitting on the couch and the kids were on the floor watching TV. After the Cosby show, Daddy hinted, “I think it’s bedtime.”
      Innocently, Michael (3) glanced over his shoulder and asked, “Fowr you guys?”

*  *  *  *

      After a short nap, Michael (3) drowsily said, “I’m tiwod (tired) of westing (resting).”

*  *  *  *

      Mommy and I were taking a Sunday-afternoon nap when Melissa (6) came in and woke us up. “The Walkers just came to see you,” she cheerfully announced, “but I told them you were napping.”

*  *  *  *

      A groggy Michael (4) woke up one night at 9:30 p.m., after just two hours of sleep, and found me fixing myself a late dinner. “But Daddy,” Michael groaned bewilderedly, wondering about the usual order of meals which occurs after waking up, “I haven’t had bweakfast yet.”

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (2) woke up early one morning. Still half asleep, he muttered, “Don (Jon) take a nap.”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (4) was having a difficult time falling asleep one night. I came in, kneeled by the bed, stroked Michael’s hair, and talked with him for a few minutes. During the conversation, I lauded admiringly, “Oh, Michael, someday you are going to be a great, great man.”
       “Yeah,” added Michael cheerfully, “and someday I will be a gweat-gweat-Gwandpa (great-great-grandpa).”

*  *  *  *

      I was telling the kids a bedtime story. As he explained about Goldilocks eating the porridge, Jonathan (2) interrupted, “Did she bwess the food?”

*  *  *  *

      The kids had fallen asleep in the car on a late drive home so I carried them in to bed. I “cradled” the boys but carried Melissa (6) against my chest so she was facing backwards over my shoulder. As she was being carried down the hallway, looking where she had been, a half-asleep Melissa muttered, “Hey, Dad. You’re walking backwards.”

*  *  *  *

      The kids often listen to cassette tapes of songs or my recorded bedtime stories. Usually they fall asleep before the thirty-minute side is finished. Occasionally Mom and I hear the “click” when the tape stops, and then a voice letting them know the tape is over and can they come start the other side. Early one morning at about 3:00 a.m., long after songs and stories were done and kids had fallen asleep, Jonathan (3) appeared at our bedside, and said groggily, “The tape is over.”

*  *  *  *

      One morning Jonathan (3) asked me, “Do you remember last night when Missy was asleep and Michael was asleep and I was asleep?”
       “Yes,” I replied.
       “Do you remember our dream?”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (6) was getting a little too noisy one evening so I cautioned, “You can either control yourself so that you play quietly or you can go up to bed and go to sleep so you won’t make any noise.”
       “Yeah,” Michael reasoned, “because I don’t snore.”

*  *  *  *

      One evening I was telling a bedtime story to the kids. I began, “Once upon a time…”
       “What kind of a story is this?” Michael (6) interrupted, knowing I told fairy tales, scripture stories, and episodes from my childhood.
       “One from the scriptures,” I decided.
       “Oh,” Melissa (8) interjected, “then you mean ‘It came to pass.’”

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (4) had a sip of Pepsi one day. Later that evening after he was in bed, he commented, “Hey, look. I drank that stuff that keeps you awake and I’m already asleep.”

*  *  *  *

Wrong Children’s Chatter Part 3

       “Look at these hot colors!” gasped Jonathan (7) one day as he held up a new shirt.
       William (3) held up a shirt and declared, “Look at these warm colors.”

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (7) answered the telephone one afternoon. He listened for a moment and then asked, “May you take a message?”

*  *  *  *

      One evening William (3) tugged at his hair and explained to the family, “My hair is hooked onto my head.”

*  *  *  *

      I was sitting in one of the recliner-rocking chairs in the living room when William (3) walked up to sit on my lap. William climbed up and pointed out, “This chair can pick up two people.”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (9) showed William (4) how to do an “Indian burn” by twisting the skin on someone’s wrist in opposite directions. Later that day, William approached Jonathan (7), grabbed him by the hand, turned the entire hand upside-down, and claimed, “That’s an Indian fire.”

*  *  *  *

       Mommy and William (4) were looking at several photographs. Mommy pointed at a picture of the three big kids and asked, “William, who are these people?”
       “Our kids,” replied William nonchalantly.

*  *  *  *

       The kids each had their own sixteen-ounce bottle of soda pop on the trip to Utah and Jonathan (8) mentioned the time Michael (10) had said, “It’s slice and it didn’t slice me.”
       “Hey,” Michael blurted, pointing at William’s bottle. “It’s Squirt and it didn’t squirt me!”
       Jonathan held up his Orange Crush and added, “It’s Crush and it didn’t crush me!”
       “Hey, guys,” William jumped in. “It’s pop and it didn’t pop me!”

*  *  *  *

      At dinner one evening William (4) told the other kids, “I have to tell Mom a question.”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (10) opened the car door for Mommy and she said, “Michael, you’re quite a gentleman.”
      William (4) looked over and asked, “Are gentlemans gentle?”

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (8) almost captured a squirrel in the backyard and came in to tell me the tale. “I came this close,” he explained, holding his thumb and index finger about an inch apart. “And I’m not abbreviating!” he added.

*  *  *  *

      Michael (10) and Jonathan (8) were cutting across the lawn on their way to school. William (4) opened the front door and yelled, “Hey, guys! Take the long cut!”

*  *  *  *

      Mom baby-sat the Udy children one afternoon. As they left with their mom, William (4) called out, “Bye, Landon.” He then started singing, “Landon bridge is falling down.”

*  *  *  *

      One afternoon as William (4) ate his lunch he dropped his sandwich and it fell apart. “Hey,” he observed, “my sandwich broke.”

*  *  *  *

      While paging through a magazine one day, William (4) called out excitedly, “Hey, I found the Statue of Liverty.”

*  *  *  *

      William (4) and I had talked about the air bag concealed in the steering wheel in my car. A few days later on the way to the store, William proudly informed the other kids, “Daddy’s staring wheel has an ear bag in it.”

*  *  *  *

      While painting his pine-wood derby car for the upcoming races at cub scouts, Michael (10) noticed the many colors of paint in Mom’s basket. “Hey,” he observed as he held up a tube of paint, “we’ve got baby blue.”
      William (4) looked over, picked up a forest-green tube for himself, and blurted, “And we’ve got baby green.”

*  *  *  *

       Mommy and I were talking one day about whether or not any of the kids might need braces in the future when Michael (10) commented, “I don’t want to wear braces. But I guess I might wear a container.”
       “You mean a retainer?” I asked with a smile.
       “Yeah,” replied Michael sheepishly, “a retainer.”

*  *  *  *

       It started snowing early in December and the boys celebrated with enthusiasm. Michael (12) exclaimed, “Wow! This is great! It’s really a miracle.”
       “It sure is a miracle,” agreed Jonathan (10).
       “Yeah,” jumped in William (4). “It’s a miracle.”
       “William, do you know what a miracle is?” asked Michael with a little skepticism.
       “Yes,” claimed William. “It’s something really cold.”

*  *  *  *

      One morning after star gazing with Jonathan (8) the night before, William (4) explained matter-of-factly to me, “Last night we saw the big dip and the little dip.”

*  *  *  *

       One day I commented on how wet the weather had been lately. I mentioned that I preferred the sunshine and blue skies over the cloudy skies and green trees.
       “Isn’t that ‘Herod’?” asked Michael (10).
       “Herod?” I questioned.
       “Yeah, you know. When it’s sunny and dry.”
       I thought for a moment and laughed, “Oh, you mean ‘arid.’”
       “Yeah, arid,” responded Michael sheepishly.

*  *  *  *

       One day Mom and I planned for the family to go to a movie later that evening. “Hey, William!” Jonathan (8) asked excitedly. “Do you know when we’re going to the movie?”
       “Yeah,” William (4) replied. “The night after this day.”

*  *  *  *

      At the Pacific Science Center I needed to blow my nose so I searched for a rest room. Upon finding one, I discovered there were no paper towels, just the hot-air machines for drying the hands. “There’s nothing here for blowing noses,” sighed Dad to William (4) who had accompanied him on the search.
      As they walked out, William (4) observed, “I don’t have a nose that needs to be blowen.”

*  *  *  *

      Late one evening as I was tucking William into bed, William (4) asked, “Can we go swim in a swimming pool the day after this night?”

*  *  *  *

      I worked late one evening and William (4) was a bit concerned. When I finally arrived home, William kept explaining that all the food had been eaten. I tried to reassure him that I would manage just fine. Overtired, and a little emotional, William finally wailed, “But Daddy you were late for home!”

*  *  *  *

       “Do you know about soccer Ts?” asked Jonathan (8) one day.
       “Soccer Ts?” I questioned curiously. “What do you mean?”
       “You know,” continued Jonathan. “That really smart guy?”
        I pondered that for a moment and then smiled, “Oh, you mean Socrates?”
       “Yeah,” beamed Jonathan, “Socrates.”

*  *  *  *

      While on a relocation trip in Idaho, William (5) had impetuously jumped in the deep end of the motel swimming pool without his life jacket and Mom had to jump in with her clothes on to pull him out. After hearing about the dangers of the deep end, William was a bit more cautious but still wanted to live somewhat on the edge of adventure. The next day he approached me and asked, “Can I swim in the not-deep end without my life jacket?”

*  *  *  *

      One evening William (5) wanted to sit at the table using the stool the kids sat on when Mom cut their hair. “Hey, Mom,” he asked, “can I sit on the cutting-hair chair?”

*  *  *  *

Wrong Children’s Chatter 2

      Michael (4) was trying to decide if he should play on the swing set or jump on the trampoline. Finally he declared, “Mommy, I made up my decision!”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (4) had his own version of the song, “Whenever I hear the song of a bird or walk by a Lilac tree” was “Whenever I hear the song of a bird or walk by a live live tree.”

*  *  *  *

      One day Michael (5) explained, “Unjoy means we didn’t enjoy it.”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (5) heard something funny and used a new version of “that cracks me up” when he said, “That cwacks (cracks) my head open.”

*  *  *  *

       “Is Hawaii on this earth?” Michael (5) asked one day.
       “Yes it is,” answered Melissa.
       “Do they have a dwinking (drinking) fountain?”

*  *  *  *

      Daddy was cutting some paper with a pair of scissors. While observing, Jonathan (3) remarked, “Scissors are stwong (strong).” Then he corrected himself, “No, I mean sharp.” After thinking for a moment, he added, “But you can’t kill them. Because they’re not awive (alive).”

*  *  *  *

       “Do bees make beeswax from honey?” Michael (5) asked one day.
       “No,” Mommy replied.
       “Then how do they get it in your ear?”

*  *  *  *

      One Sunday I had just finished getting suits and ties on Michael (5) and Jonathan (3) so they could go to church. To help them stay properly attired Daddy warned, “Okay, guys. No horsing around.”
       “Yeah,” Michael added. “And no manning around either.”

*  *  *  *

      I was sharing some early Small Talk entries with Mommy. I read where Michael said, “I’m three years old,” to which Mommy said, “I’m twenty-eight years old,” to which Michael said, “Hey, you’re a big kid.” Now, at age six, Michael chuckled with the added wisdom of being three years older and corrected his earlier statement, “Not a big kid–a big mom!”

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (3) was promising something to Mommy one afternoon. To really emphasize his commitment he added, “Cross my heart, not to die. Don’t stick needles in my eye.”

*  *  *  *

      Nana was telling Missy about a few of her new puppets for her shows. She described Rosy Cheeks, Tom Cat, Peter Butter, and Jim Shoes. Melissa (7) added, “If the lady had a baby she could name it Missy. Missy Diaper.”
      And then Jonathan (3) chimed in, “Michael Diaper! Get it?”

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (3) looked up at the digital thermometer in the Voyager and asked, “How many ‘guh rees’ (degrees) is it?”

*  *  *  *

       “Can I have a sucker?” Jonathan (4) asked me one day.
       “Go ask Mom,” Daddy replied.
       “Why?” Jonny asked. “Because she’s bigger?”

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (4) and I were on our way to the store in the car. Jonny was about to ask a question, but started with, “Hey, Mom?”
       “I’m you’re Dad,” reminded Daddy.
       “Oh, yeah. I know why.”
       “Why?” I asked.
       “Because Mom’s too far away at home.”

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (4) wanted Mommy to buy some Froot Loops cereal and asked, “Mommy, can we get some Floot Loops? I mean Froot Roops!” He gave it one more try. “Floot Roops!”

*  *  *  *

      One night during a power outage, Jonathan (4) observed, “It’s plitch black in here now.”

*  *  *  *

      I was trying to get Jonathan (4) to put his dirty clothes in the clothes hamper instead of on the floor. “Where do we put our dirty clothes?” I asked.
       “In the hamster,” Jonny replied.

*  *  *  *

      One evening while passing the Sea Galley restaurant, Jonathan (4) urged, “Let’s eat at Sea Galaxy!”

*  *  *  *

      Daddy was singing, “Don’t put another dime in the jukebox…”
       “Why don’t you want a diamond?” Jonathan (4) asked. “Diamonds are the hardest thing in the world.”

*  *  *  *

      The family sang “I am a Child of God” as the opening song at family night one week. Michael (7) sang his version of the second verse as: “I am a child of God and so my knees (needs) are great.”

*  *  *  *

      I was mowing the lawn and had completely filled the grass catcher. Jonathan (5) suggested, “Dad, you should unfill that.”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (7) and Jonathan (5) had a small altercation. “Michael kicked me,” claimed Jonathan.
       “But he was biting my toe,” Michael insisted. “It was my only defeat.”
       “Defense?” chuckled Daddy.
       “Well,” Michael replied sheepishly, “whatever it is.”

*  *  *  *

      Mommy’s morning breath was a little too much for Jonathan (5). “Mom,” Jonny blurted while holding his nose, “you have dirty breath.”

*  *  *  *

      After Melissa (9) finished writing a poem about Mommy she read it to the family. She began with the title, “Who is SuperMom?”
       “I know,” blurted Jonathan (5). “Superman’s wife.”

*  *  *  *

      While on vacation Michael (8) had learned to play the card game, Uno. As he and I were about to play their first game together, Michael explained, “Dad, first you have to scramble the cards.”
       “You mean shuffle?” I asked with a grin.
       “Uh, yeah,” Michael said sheepishly.

*  *  *  *

      Mommy was arranging a babysitter for William (2) so she could go out to lunch with her good friend and next-door neighbor, Cindy. When Mom got off the phone, William asked, “Mom, are you going on a date?”
      When Cindy arrived, William asked, “Are you going on a date with my Mom?”

*  *  *  *

      At Uncle Lyle and Aunt Diane’s house, William (2) was picking up little rocks from the planter box in the family room and tossing them back in. Uncle Lyle watched William and said, “Tell your dad that those are calcite stones.”
      William dutifully walked over to me and said, “Daddy, these are…” He glanced back at Uncle Lyle, then back to me, and improvised, “…rocks.”

*  *  *  *

      At a toy store, Jonathan (7) saw a toy car with two wires on top so it could roll over and keep going. “Hey,” Jonathan blurted, “this car has a forest field.”
      Michael (9) put his arm around Jonathan’s shoulder and gently corrected, “You mean a force field.”
       “Oh, I get it. Like a force!” responded Jonathan.

*  *  *  *

      Mommy was helping William (3) get dressed one morning. She pulled out a shirt and held it against William to check for color coordination with his pants. William looked at the shirt and asked, “Are you trying to see if this matches me?”

*  *  *  *

      One morning I checked the newspaper and excitedly announced, “Hey, our stock is up to eighty-two-and-a-half!”
       “All right!” Jonathan (7) exclaimed. A moment later he asked, “What’s stock?”

*  *  *  *

Wrong Children’s Chatter Part 1

      One Sunday William (3) saw me shred some confidential papers in the clerk’s office at church. The following Sunday, William and I stopped quickly in the office so I could pick up a teacher’s manual. As we left the office, William wailed, “But I want to wine the paper!”
       “You want to write the paper?” I asked, not quite sure of William’s request.
       “No,” replied William. “Wine the paper!”
       “You want to wine the paper?” I asked again. “I don’t know what you mean.”
      After several more attempts to understand, I asked William to show me what he wanted. We walked back to the office and William pointed at the paper shredder and said, “I want to wine the paper?”
       “You want to “grind” some paper?” I asked.
       “Yeah,” explained a relieved William. “Gwind (grind) the paper.”

*  *  *  *

      Michael’s pronunciation: Wook at the wighthouse and the wailwoad (Look at the lighthouse and the railroad.)

*  *  *  *

      Mom and I would have Melissa translate Michaelese. She played with him the most and knew what he meant most of the time. Sometimes, Michael would say something like, “Gik wuh.”
       “What did he say?”
       “He said he wants a drink of water.” Oh of course. Gik is drink, and wuh is water. We should have known that.
      Other times he would say things like, “Gooshka bakku dooma.”
       “What did he say?” we’d ask.
       “He said, ‘Gooshka bakku dooma.’”

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (2) watched me shaving one morning and observed, “Daddy shave his doringtjies (Afrikaans for whiskers) off and they will be all gone.”
      Afterwards, Melissa stroked my cheeks, and observed, “Daddy’s face is all nice and clean.”

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (2) got Mommy laughing so hard one day that Mommy had tears in her eyes and a drippy nose. With great concern, Melissa asked, “Mommy, why do you have raindrops in your nose?”

*  *  *  *

      One day Mommy helped Melissa (2) learn right and left. Mommy pointed out Melissa’s right leg, right arm, right hand, and right eye.
       “And here is my right nose!” exclaimed Melissa, pointing at her nose.

*  *  *  *

      Mommy was tossing Michael (9 months) up in the air when Missy (2) asked what she was doing. “I’m throwing Michael up in the air,” she explained.
      Missy started jumping up and down and proclaimed, “I’m throwing up.

*  *  *  *

      One sunny day Melissa (3) and her friend Crystal were eating popsicles on the back porch. Melissa saw Crystal’s popsicle dripping down her chin and gasped, “Crystal, you’re melting!”

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (3) was busy eating a juicy orange that started to drip on her. “Help, Mom!” she called, “I don’t want my orange to melt on me.”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (1) walked into the kitchen one morning for breakfast. “Do you want some toast?” asked Mommy.
      Michael immediately sat down and held up his toes for Mommy.

*  *  *  *

      One day just for fun, I asked Melissa (3), “What’s the Iron Curtain?”
       “It means to iron the curtain,” Melissa replied without hesitation. “Are you going to iron my blouse?”

*  *  *  *

      Mommy and I were discussing a pair of pants that Melissa (3) had outgrown. “Maybe we could give them to a D.I. (thrift store),” I suggested.
       “Sure,” agreed Mommy.
       “Yeah,” chimed in Melissa. “Let’s give them to D.I.”
       “On the other hand,” Mommy reconsidered, “I could make shorts for summer.”
       “Yeah,” Melissa quickly agreed. “We can give them to Summer (her little friend)!”

*  *  *  *

      When Michael (2) wanted a stroller ride, he would point to the stroller and say, “Geegle-geegle.”

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (4) was observing Mommy as she put on her makeup one morning. “Mommy,” she asked, “are you painting your face?”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (3) was a little hard to understand with his early sentence structure. When he wanted his coat off, he would say, “Not put this on!”

*  *  *  *

      Grammy was tickling Michael (3) but he refused to laugh. “Why aren’t you laughing?” she asked.
       “Because I’m bwave (brave)!” he declared.

*  *  *  *

      I was explaining to Michael (3) that I would be flying to Switzerland for a business trip in January.
      A little confused, Michael replied, “But you can’t fwy (fly).”

*  *  *  *

      One afternoon I suggested to Melissa (5) and Michael (3) that they play “Keep Away.”
      Michael started singing “Keep away, oh keep away,” to the tune of “Give away, oh give away” in the chorus of Give Said the Little Stream.

*  *  *  *

      Mommy was making sandwiches for lunch one day when she noticed she was out of cheese. Thinking he had a sweeter alternative to cheese on a sandwich, Michael (4) offered, “That’s okay because you can sneak up behind a bee and take some honey.”

*  *  *  *

      Mommy was peeling an orange for the kids when Michael (4) announced, “I know how to make owrange duice.”
       “How?” asked Mom.
       “Well,” responded Michael confidently, “first we go to the gwocewry stowr. And then we buy the owranges. And then we bwing them home. And then we just unwapp (unwrap) them.”

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (6) had been playing for a while with the flashing fire helmet Michael (4) got for Christmas. Finally Michael warned, “Hey, Mewissa, you’re going to ewase (erase) the battowies.”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (4) often referred to a bee sting as a “scratch.” One day Daddy recorded the kids’ bumble bee record onto a cassette tape and explained that now they could run around and dance to the song without scratching the record any more. Michael ran to Mommy and excitedly explained, “Now we have a bumbow (bumble) bee and it won’t scwatch (scratch) us.

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (2) was conducting Family Night with a little coaching from Dad. “We’d like to welcome all of you to Family Night,” said Daddy. “Our opening song will be ‘I Have Two Little Hands.’”
       “Welcome to Famwy (Family) Night,” echoed Jonathan. “The song will be ‘I Have Too Many Hands.’”

*  *  *  *

      Mommy was getting ready to go to a friend’s baby shower when Melissa (6) asked, “Well, Mom, when are you going to the baby bath?”

*  *  *  *

Clever Children’s Chatter Part 3

      Mommy was moving the living room furniture around to make room for my new Father’s Day gift. William (4) watched as she moved and surveyed, then moved and surveyed again and again. Finally, William offered, “Maybe Daddy will think this is like a big puzzle.”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (9) wanted to know how the star appeared over Bethlehem to announce the birth of the Jesus. I took out a piece of paper and hastily drew several concentric circles representing the orbits of the planets and then showed how two of the planets could line up with the earth and give the appearance of a bright star. Michael looked carefully at the drawing and particularly at the positions of the planets and then gently, and accurately, corrected, “But, Dad, it would be daytime on earth.”

*  *  *  *

      One day I read the words on the cheeseburger wrapper and pointed at the words as I read. William (4) echoed Daddy’s words and mimicked his pointing but went from right to left instead of left to right. Melissa (11) watched and then whispered to me, “He’s reading like it’s in Japanese.”

*  *  *  *

      William (4) asked me to open the safe one day. As William sorted through the various items in the safe looking for my one-ounce-proof-silver-bullion coin in the plastic case. “Hey,” William demanded, “where’s that money that’s untouched by human hands?”

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (8) was completing some homework at the kitchen table one morning before school. He practiced reading several sentences containing new spelling words. After he read the final sentence and put the paper down, William (4) proudly lauded, “Good job, Jon!”

*  *  *  *

      One morning William (4) got himself a treat from the refrigerator. “Daddy,” he commented, “I know two things that start with ‘fr.’”
       “What starts with ‘fr’?” I asked.
       “Freezer and fridge,” he replied proudly.

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (12) and William (4) were talking about William’s four-year-old buddy, Kevin, when William claimed, “Kevin, goes to school.”
       “To pre-school?” asked Melissa suspiciously.
       “No,” replied William nonchalantly, “to middle school.”

*  *  *  *

      After dinner one evening I asked William (4) to go wash his face. On his way to the bathroom, William turned and asked, “Is a ma’am a gwole (girl)?”
      I took a moment to be sure I understood the question, and replied, “Yes, William. A ma’am is a girl.”
       “Whew,” sighed William with relief as he headed off to the bathroom. “I was gonna say, ‘Yes, Ma’am.’”

*  *  *  *

      William (4) and I drove to Melissa’s school one morning. On the way William noticed a big “X” for the crosswalk.
       “Is that an exit sign?” asked William.
       “Well, sort of,” I replied. “What does exit mean?”
       “That’s the way out,” explained William.
      Wondering if William had picked that up from Sesame Street, I asked, “How did you know that?”
      William paused a moment and replied simply, “Thought about it.”

*  *  *  *

       “You’re a wonderful boy, William,” I gushed one afternoon.
       “Yeah, I know,” replied William (4) confidently.
       “How did you know that you’re a wonderful boy?”
       “I got it from my mind,” explained William assuredly.
      After a pause, William mused, “Your mind comes from your brain.”
      After another pause, William asked, “What does your brain do?”
       “It thinks,” I replied.
       “Really?” responded William with wide eyes.
       “Yeah.”
       “Do you mean it?”
       “Of course.”
       “Wow!” gasped William.

*  *  *  *

      One day after careful consideration William (4) asked, “Mom, can anyone break air?”

*  *  *  *

      One day Michael (10) asked inquisitively, “What’s that scientist way of saying ‘up and down?’ “
      Daddy thought for a moment about what Michael meant and then surmised, “Vertical?”
       “Yeah,” cut in Michael. “And the other two are horizontal and diagonal.”

*  *  *  *

       “Who wants to go to McDonald’s tonight?” I asked one evening.
       “Me!” blasted William (4).
       “You mean, ‘I do’?” I suggested gently.
       “Yeah,” William agreed. He thought a moment and added, “ ‘I do’ is the polite way to say it and ‘me’ is the real way.”

*  *  *  *

      One day Jonathan (8) asked Mom, “We call a man a mailman so why don’t we call a woman a female-woman?”

*  *  *  *

      Someone rolled a giant snowball out on the frozen pond across the street and a few sunny afternoons later the snowball broke through the still frozen layer. I asked, “Jonathan, why do you think the snowball finally fell through the ice?”
      Jonathan (8) thought for a moment and then responded, “The sun warmed things up during the day and the ice melted a little and the snowball fell through.”
      A moment later, Michael (10) asked, “Dad, is solid ice colder than snow?”
      I considered the question and then replied, “Probably, because there’s some air trapped inside between the flakes. Why do you ask?”
       “Well,” explained Michael, “if snow is warmer it could melt some of the ice it’s sitting on.”

*  *  *  *

      One morning Mom noticed that Melissa (12) was wearing different colored socks. “Is that a new fad?” questioned Mom.
       “No,” replied Melissa. “I couldn’t find two that match.”

*  *  *  *

      William (4) was busy in the bathroom one evening while the family held a council meeting to discuss several issues. When William called for assistance the family picked numbers to see who should go help. Mom won, or lost, and so she headed down the hallway while everyone else breathed a sigh of relief. When she got to the bathroom, William explained, “I knew it was you coming.”
       “How did you know?” asked Mom.
       “Because I could hear the footsteps of your sound.”
       “What did it sound like?”
       “Like this,” William explained as he demonstrated with several dainty steps.
       “What does Daddy sound like?”
       “Like this,” said William, as he again demonstrated, this time with much heavier and faster steps.

*  *  *  *

      Mommy was reviewing her recent parent-teacher conference with Jonathan (8) and mentioned that Mr. Suda said he really could trust Jonathan with anything.
       “Do you know why he trusts you?” asked Mom sweetly.
       “Because I’m trustworthy?” replied Jonathan, half guessing and half stating.

*  *  *  *

      One morning while getting ready for kindergarten, William (5) moaned, “Mommy, I want to stay home with you because I will miss you.” With a big hug and a little encouragement he finally trudged off to school with the older boys.
      That afternoon when he got home he commented, “Mom, I missed you on the way to school and then I got there and I didn’t anymore. Isn’t that funny?”

*  *  *  *

      Mom and I were reviewing proper phone etiquette with the kids one evening at the dinner table. We talked about how to respond to callers when we were home and when we were not.
       “Yeah,” William (5) blurted, “and if they ask for Mom and you know she’s not home then you don’t need to go look for her.”

*  *  *  *

Clever Children’s Chatter Part 2

      Michael (5) was talking with me on the phone one day. He explained that the kids were playing school and Melissa was the teacher. “Is she a good teacher?” I asked.
       “Yeah,” Michael replied. “She gives us lots of recesses.”

*  *  *  *

      One day I called home from work and talked for a moment with Michael (6). “I’ll bet you’re my dad,” said Michael.
       “I’ll bet you’re my son,” I replied.
       “You’re right!” Michael said enthusiastically. “Am I right?”
       “Yep!”
       “Hey,” Michael announced, “we’re right!”

*  *  *  *

      I called home from work one day and talked to Jonathan (4). “What are you doing, Jonathan?” he asked.
      Jonathan thought for a moment and replied, “Breathing.”

*  *  *  *

      Mommy was sitting in a chair reading a book to herself. Michael (6) studied Mom for a moment and then asked curiously, “Are you reading it in your mind?”

*  *  *  *

      I was singing, “Who do you think you’re fooling?”
       “Around!” Jonathan (4) quickly interjected.

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (4) was helping Mommy make something in the kitchen. He needed to add three cups of flour to the bowl and Mommy suggested he count them one at a time in his head. Jonny poured carefully as he counted three separate cups to himself and then said excitedly, “Hey, Mom. I heard it in my mind.”

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (8) and I were talking with Sharleen Hudson at church. I mentioned that I knew her husband back in high school and then commented on how many “Hudson” families lived in the area. After our conversation, Melissa observed, “One of the Hudsons must have had a lot of brothers.”

*  *  *  *

      Mommy and I were proofreading Children’s Chatter – Volume Six out loud. Jonathan listened intently as I read the tomato catsup entry where Jonathan, as a four-year old, had joked, “He can catch up with the car! Get it?” Mommy and I looked up to see how Jonathan (5) would react a year older. For at least four seconds, Jonny stared out the window as his mind worked to comprehend the humor. Suddenly, his eyes lit up as he blurted, “Oh, I get. Catch up!”

*  *  *  *

      Michael (7) and Jonathan (5) were always curious and asking questions, especially on family trips. One day they were really on a roll and over a few-minute period asked:
       “If you put your tongue on frozen metal, will it stick? Why?”
       “What would happen if it pulled your tongue out of your mouth? Could you still talk?”
       “If your whole tongue came off, could you talk at all?”
       “Is an ice cube exactly as cold as an icicle?”
       “Why is your tongue always wet?”
       “How many degrees would it have to be for your tongue to stick to metal.”

*  *  *  *

      One day Jonathan (5) warned, “If you put your tongue on metal in the winter when it’s freezing, your tongue will stick.” Then he assured, “But in summer it will be warm so you can get your tongue off.”

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (6) explained what he was planning to do for sharing time in kindergarten. Each student was to bring something starting with the letter “N” for that day. “I’m going to hold out my hand and say, ‘This is what I brought for N day. Nothing.’”

*  *  *  *

      William (2) was looking at the picture on the front page of a newspaper one morning. As he carefully pointed at various things, he said, “Boy. Ladder. Apple. Daddy. Mommy.” He then pointed at the headline and said, “Letters. Letters. Letters.”

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (6) came home from kindergarten and explained that he had forgotten to take something for sharing time that started with the letter “T”. “So I said that I brought my teeth, my tongue, and my toes.”

*  *  *  *

      One day at school, Jonathan’s teacher, Mrs. Wilson, asked the students to tell something special about themselves so she could put all the special things on a poster for the hallway. When Jonathan (6) had his turn, he said, “I am special because I’m smart and my mom tells me so.”

*  *  *  *

      One day I came home carrying a small backpack. “Hey,” William (2) observed, “you got a packpack to go to school.”

*  *  *  *

      William (2) was trying to get by me at the kitchen table but my chair was too close to the wall. When William squawked, I scooted my chair so William could pass. I then suggested, “You should say, ‘Please move, Daddy.’”
       “Move backwards, please,” embellished William, who like many two-year olds, didn’t like being told exactly what to do all the time.

*  *  *  *

      After a rough day at school Melissa (11) commented, “There’s a lot of stress in fifth grade.”
      William (3) quickly piped up, “I have a lot of stress.” He then added, “In pre-school,” although he didn’t even attend a pre-school.

*  *  *  *

      William (3) and his friend, James, were playing in the backyard. “Hey, look,” William announced, pointing up to the sky. “It’s an airplane.”
       “It’s a hopper-copper (helicopter)!” insisted his little buddy.
       “No, it’s an airplane!”
       “No, it’s a hopper-copper!”
       “No,” asserted William, “because it doesn’t hop.”

*  *  *  *

      One day Jonathan (7) came home from school and told Mom about Carl, a new friend that he met at school. “I think he’ll be my best friend,” he explained. “I think you’ll like him too because he’s not like a wild, rambunctious coyote or something like that. He’s just calm like I am.”

*  *  *  *

      For cub scouts one week Michael (9) had to make a spinning top using household items. He built his out of an old long-playing stereo record and won first prize for the longest spinning top. Jonathan (7) had watched the contest and observed, “I know why Michael picked a record. So he could break a record.”

*  *  *  *

      The kids were aware of the many swear words spoken at school, as well as some inappropriate gestures. They would often come home and ask about the meaning of certain things. One night while sitting on his bed looking at his feet, Michael (9) asked inquisitively, “Dad, does it mean anything bad if you stick up your middle toe?”

*  *  *  *

      William (3) burped and I jokingly said, “Gesundheit.”
       “Not gesundheit,” William corrected, “because I didn’t sneeze.”

*  *  *  *

       “I used to think that when two people kissed it meant they were going to get married,” explained Jonathan (7) one day. “But now I know that it’s when they kiss with their mouths open,” he clarified with added wisdom gleaned from having watched too many movies. “That means they’re going to get married. That’s the true love kiss.”

*  *  *  *

Clever Children’s Chatter Part 1

      “Dad, guess what’s in here,” Jonathan (5) said, as he held up a small plastic container.
       “I don’t know.”
       “It starts with a ‘C’ and it goes fast.”
       “A car?”
       “No,” Jonathan said. “It lives in water.”
       “A crab?”
       “No. It’s a lion that lives in the water and climbs on rocks.”
      I thought the description sounded like a sea lion and Jonny had gotten a miniature sea lion on the trip to California but sea lion doesn’t start with the letter ‘C’. But it does phonetically in the mind of a five-year old.

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (6) was enjoying kindergarten and had a lot of fun learning to read. One day she came home and announced, “I read everything that I could.” She paused and then asked, “Mommy, what does ‘mmmpp’ mean?” Mommy struggled with that one until Missy spelled the “word” on paper as “MP” and said it was on the back of every single chair at her school, (Meridian Primary).

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (2) walked into our bedroom as I was putting on my belt. She reached over and as she touched the belt, she asked, “Is this so your pants won’t fall off?”

*  *  *  *

      One evening Melissa (2) wanted to turn off the bathroom light but found she couldn’t quite reach the switch. After thinking for a moment, she took a towel and spread it on the carpet below the switch. She then stepped on the towel but found she was still not high enough. She considered her dilemma once more, and then excitedly ran to get her stool which easily solved the problem.

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (2) was crushed one day when one of her cousins tried to spank her. A few days Melissa moaned, “When she tries to spank me I get frustrated.”

*  *  *  *

      I had just finished a telephone call when Melissa (2) walked up to me. “Do you want to talk on the phone?” I asked as I handed the phone to her.
      Melissa listened for a moment. “No,” she replied as she handed it back. “There aren’t any people on it.”

*  *  *  *

      Melissa (2) was trying to say the word “chair” but the “ch” kept coming out as a “t” sound. After several attempts, she finally pronounced, “Chair!” and then added encouragingly, “There you go!”

*  *  *  *

      One day as Michael (1) crawled around the living room floor, Melissa (3) observed, “Michael’s not coordinated because he can’t walk yet.”

*  *  *  *

      One evening Melissa (3) observed, “Making dinner is complicated so Moms do it, huh?”

*  *  *  *

      While helping Mommy put away silverware one day, Melissa (3) observed, “Knives are dangerous for little kids.”

*  *  *  *

      One evening Melissa (3) saw me struggling to connect the TV and VCR wires without using a screwdriver, and observed, “You’re frustrated, huh?”
      I sat back and smiled in amazement at Melissa’s three-year-old vocabulary. “I’m really…” I began.
      As I tried to think of the appropriate word, Melissa humbly suggested, “You’re really impressed, aren’t you?”

*  *  *  *

      One evening I was lying on the floor talking to Mommy who was sitting on the couch cuddling Michael (1). Melissa (3) had been sitting on my back pretending to ride a pony and had slowly maneuvered up to my shoulders. Sensing that I was feeling a little strain on my neck, Melissa leaned over and asked, “You’re a little uncomfortable, huh, Daddy?”

*  *  *  *

      Thinking some of my foreign language training had rubbed off, I was excited when Melissa (3) one day announced, “I can say ‘fingers’ in another language.”
       “How?” I asked.
       “Pinkies!” she proudly proclaimed.

*  *  *  *

      One day Melissa (3) and Michael (1) were playing together in the front room. “Could we have some chips please please?” asked Melissa. “One please is for me and one is for Michael because he can’t say it yet.”

*  *  *  *

      The family was making plans for college graduation, a move to California, and the birth of a baby. I explained to Melissa (3) that we would have a bigger apartment, new friends, and different stores. “Yeah,” Melissa added, “and there will be a backyard for Michael and me and our next kid.”

*  *  *  *

      After brushing her teeth one morning, Melissa (4) asked, “Why is it called a toothbrush and not a teethbrush?”

*  *  *  *

      With a worried look on her face, Melissa (6) expressed a few concerns about one day getting married. “I will have to find a really good husband,” she said. She pondered that for a moment with a concerned look on her face, and then morosely sighed, “But I’m too young to make such a big decision.”

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (2) and Michael (4) got to go with Melissa (6) to see the big classroom where she would be attending kindergarten. Jonathan’s simple description: “Big house.”

*  *  *  *

      I called home while on a business trip. Michael (4) answered the telephone and after talking for a moment, asked, “Do you know how I knew that you are coming home?”
       “How?” I responded.
       “I used my mind.”

*  *  *  *

      Jonathan (3) was watching the family lovebird preening itself. “Our wuvbowd (lovebird) is biting his wing,” he explained. “But it’s okay because he doesn’t have teeth.”
       “Well, what does he bite with?” I asked.
       “Well, uhhh, ummm, that thing, ummm,” he said, while searching for the right word. Finally he improvised, “That thing that he nibbles with.”

*  *  *  *

       “Wouldn’t it be neat if we had everything in the whole world?” Michael (5) asked rhetorically one day.
       “But Michael,” Melissa (7) cautioned, “that would make us very selfish.”

*  *  *  *

      One day Jonathan (3) held up three fingers and asked, “Do we have this many of people who are wittle (little) boys in our flamly (family)?”

*  *  *  *

      I was singing part of a song: “Oh, Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine, you blow my mind.”
      Michael (5) matter-of-factly observed, “But then you couldn’t think.”

*  *  *  *