Women of the Church
Many have said that the way the Lord selects a new bishop is fairly simple. He finds the most spiritual and righteous person in the ward and then calls her husband to be the bishop. While that is often said tongue-in-cheek when new bishops are called, I believe there is more truth to the matter than tongue-in-cheek, not only about the bishop’s wife but also about women in general.
In June 2010, at the training for new mission presidents, President Boyd K. Packer the second most senior Apostle of Jesus Christ after President Thomas S. Monson, said to the mission presidents’ wives, “You have an insight, a spiritual insight superior to that of your husband. We do not like to admit that, but it’s true.” (Church News, July 3, 2010, page 6, Mission President Training).
And, Brethren, I’m not making this up. You can look it up in the Church News from July 3, 2010, page 6, to be specific. I testify with President Packer that women in general, especially those in the Church, have “a spiritual insight superior to that of [men].” Good husbands in the Church are humble enough to recognize that eternal truth.
In 1976, President N. Eldon Tanner spoke about area conferences being held around the world and said, “The speakers emphasize the great role women have in the Church and its auxiliary organizations and in the community, and the great influence they have in the lives of their families. They are reminded that they could have no greater responsibility or satisfying experience than to be copartners with God in the divine plan of bringing his spirit children into mortal existence, to teach them the gospel, and to help prepare them to go back into the presence of our Heavenly Father” (“The Purpose of Conferences,” N. Eldon Tanner, October 1976 General Conference).
President David O. McKay promised every man who uses the priesthood in righteousness that he “will find his life sweetened, his discernment sharpened to decide quickly between right and wrong, his feelings tender and compassionate, yet his spirit strong and valiant in defense of right; he will find the priesthood a never failing source of happiness – a well of living water springing up into eternal life” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: David O. McKay [2003], page 116. Also, see Gospel Principles manual [1978, 2009], page 71).
I believe the same can be said of righteous women simply because of their innate nature without a need to hold the priesthood. We can paraphrase President McKay’s promise to say that every woman who lives in righteousness “will find her life sweetened, her discernment sharpened to decide quickly between right and wrong, her feelings tender and compassionate, yet her spirit strong and valiant in defense of right; she will find a never failing source of happiness – a well of living water springing up into eternal life.”
In a talk entitled “A Tribute to Women” delivered at the Priesthood Commemoration Fireside broadcast by satellite from Temple Square on May 7, 1989, President Boyd K. Packer said:
“The whole physical universe is organized in order that man and woman might fulfill the full measure of their creation….
“The Lord revealed that the purpose of it all is ‘to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.’ (Moses 1:39.) Ordinances and covenants were ordained to protect this power to generate life….
“The compelling need which draws a husband back to his wife is always to be expressed in tenderness and love. It is through this process that a wife may give her husband, and a husband his wife, a gift which can be received in no other way—the gift of children.
“The separate natures of man and woman were designed by the Father of us all to fulfill the purposes of the gospel plan.
“Never can two of the same gender fulfill the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. No two men or any number added to them, no matter how much priesthood they may think they possess, can do it. Only a woman can bestow upon man that supernal title of father.
“She in turn becomes a mother. Can anyone dispute that her part is different from and more demanding than his? The mother must endure limitations while nature performs the miracle of creation….
“The well-being of the mother, the child, the family, the Church, indeed of all humanity depends upon protecting that process. The obligations of motherhood are never-ending. The addition of such duties as those which attend ordination to the priesthood would constitute an intrusion into, an interruption to, perhaps the avoidance of, that crucial contribution which only a mother can provide.
“The limitation of priesthood responsibilities to men is a tribute to the incomparable place of women in the plan of salvation.
“The prophet who said that “no success [in any field of endeavor] can compensate for failure in the home” (David O. McKay) did not exempt callings in the Church.
“Men and women have complementary, not competing, responsibilities. There is difference but not inequity. Intelligence and talent favor both of them. But in the woman’s part, she is not just equal to man; she is superior! She can do that which he can never do; not in all eternity can he do it. There are complementing rewards which are hers and hers alone….
“And the highest ordinances in the House of the Lord they receive together and equally or not at all!
“It should not disturb either men or women that some responsibilities are bestowed upon one and not the other. Duties of the priesthood are delegated to men and are patriarchal, which means ‘of the father….’
“…Have we not been told that “the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness” and that “no power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned?” (D&C 121:36, 41.)
“Ought not those virtues by which the priesthood must govern apply first and always to our wives and children, to our families?….
“Holders of the priesthood, in turn, must accommodate themselves to the needs and responsibilities of the wife and mother. Her physical and emotional and intellectual and cultural well-being and her spiritual development must stand first among his priesthood duties.
“There is no task, however menial, connected with the care of babies, the nurturing of children, or with the maintenance of the home that is not his equal obligation. The tasks which come with parenthood, which many consider to be below other tasks, are simply above them….
“When our sons were growing up, they enjoyed a very broad tolerance from their father toward their mischief and mistakes. But there was no tolerance for even the slightest disrespect toward their mother.
“And the question our daughters-in-law have heard most often from me has been, ‘Is he being good to you?’
“As our sons have matured, I have ordained each in turn to the priesthood. Somehow that seems the lesser part. I have but ordained them. She has borne them, then trained and nurtured them….
“I could not possibly express the depth and the intensity of love and gratitude that I feel toward my wife, the mother of our children.
“Without her, I could not have the highest and most enduring blessings of this ‘priesthood … after the holiest order of God’ (D&C 84:18), this ‘Holy Priesthood, after the Order of the Son of God (D&C 107:3). For, ‘in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]; And if he does not, he cannot obtain it.’ (D&C 131:104.) (“A Tribute to Women,” Boyd K. Packer, Ensign, July 1989).
“In the celestial glory there are three heavens or degrees; And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage]; And if he does not, he cannot obtain it” (D&C 131:1-3).
Years ago the First Presidency issued a profound and powerful statement. “Motherhood,” they wrote, “is near to divinity. It is the highest, holiest service to be assumed by mankind. It places her who honors its holy calling and service next to the angels.” (In James R. Clark, comp., Messages of the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 6 volumes. (1965-75), 6: 178.)
The First Presidency also stated, “The true spirit of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints gives to woman the highest place of honor in human life” (in Messages of the First Presidency, 6:5).
Elder Boyd K. Packer said that a man’s “first and foremost priesthood duty is to attend to his wife’s physical, emotional, intellectual, and cultural well-being, and her spiritual development” (Ensign, July 1989, page 75).
Elder Russell M. Nelson adds, “Because mothers are essential to God’s great plan of happiness, their sacred work is opposed by Satan, who would destroy the family and demean the worth of women” (Ensign, May 1999).
These concepts in no way demean or demote men—they simply establish his sacred role along side of the woman’s sacred role. The man’s responsibility with the priesthood is to serve and assist the Savior and the Woman in their sacred roles.
With the priesthood, the man provides support to the woman in her sacred role of bearing and rearing children as he presides and provides in the home. He keeps a roof overhead and food on the table, he names and blesses newborn babies, he gives priesthood blessings to the woman and father’s blessings to the children, he gives blessings to heal and comfort, he counsels with his wife as they together plan their future, and he learns to exercise the priesthood by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned, by kindness, and pure knowledge, without hypocrisy, and without guile (D&C 121:41-42).
Some men erroneously feel that they have the right to rule over their wives and children because God said to Eve, “Thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” (Genesis 3:16).
First, President Spencer W. Kimball said he would change the word “rule” to “preside” (Teachings of Spencer W. Kimball, page 316; “Unrighteous Dominion,” H. Burke Peterson, Ensign, July 1989).
Second, if the husband thinks he still should “rule over” his wife, then he should read where Matthew quotes an Old Testament prophet (Micah 5:2) regarding Jesus Christ being born in Bethlehem, “for out of thee shall come a Governor, that shall “rule” my people Israel” (Matthew 2:6). Now, take a look at the footnote “d” associated with the word “rule.” In the footnote it says that the Greek word for “rule” means to “tend, protect, and nurture.” I testify that the husband’s role is to “tend, protect, and nurture” his wife and children, among other noble assignments to uplift and strengthen his wife and family.
Also with the priesthood, the man provides support to the Savior in His sacred role of spiritually preparing men and women to be born again as magnifies his callings in the priesthood. The man performs the ordinances of salvation associated with the rebirth and serves to build up the Lord’s kingdom. He serves in priesthood leadership positions, he home teaches, he seeks inspiration and counsels the saints, and through all of this priesthood service, he learns to magnify the priesthood.
President James E. Faust observed that femininity “is the divine adornment of humanity. It finds expression in your … capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quiet strength. It is manifest differently in each girl or woman, but each … possesses it. Femininity is part of your inner beauty.” (Womanhood: The Highest Place of Honor,” Ensign, May 2000, 96.)
President Hugh B. Brown once said at a Relief Society conference: “There are people fond of saying that women are the weaker instruments, but I don’t believe it. Physically they may be, but spiritually, morally, religiously, and in faith, what man can match a woman who is really converted to the gospel! Women are more willing to make sacrifices than are men, more patient in suffering, more earnest in prayer. They are the peers and often superior to men in resilience, in goodness, in morality, and in faith.” (Relief Society Conference, Sept. 29, 1965.)
Elder Russell M. Nelson said, “A woman’s richest rewards will come as she rises to fulfill her destiny as a devoted daughter of God. To all faithful Saints He has promised thrones, kingdoms, principalities, glory, immortality, and eternal lives. (See Rom. 2:7; D&C 75:5; D&C 128:12, 23; D&C 132:19.) That is the potential for women in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is exalting, everlasting, and divine. (“Women – Of Infinite Worth,” Russell M. Nelson, General Conference, October 1989).
President Heber J. Grant said, “Without the wonderful work of the women I realize that the Church would have been a failure” (Gospel Standards, comp. G. Homer Durham, Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1941, page 150).
President Spencer W. Kimball said, “Brethren, we cannot be exalted without our wives. There can be no heaven without righteous women” (Ensign, November 1979, page 5).
President James E. Faust said, “A husband should always try to treat his wife with the greatest courtesy and respect, holding her in the highest esteem. He should speak to her in a kind and a soft manner, showing his love by word and deed.” (“The Highest Place of Honor – Women,” James E. Faust, General Conference, October 1988).
President James E. Faust also said, “When you boys become priests and elders and begin to date, you need to know that the best place to date is at Church and Church-related activities. As you date, you will be entrusted by a girl’s parents with their most cherished blessing. You will have the responsibility to protect not only her well-being, but also her honor, even above your own safety. One of the duties of manhood is to safeguard womanhood. When you become a parent, you cannot shirk this responsibility to be concerned for the dating of your own children.
“Before my first mission, when I was attending the university, I invited a lovely young lady to attend the university’s junior prom dinner dance. I had dated this fine girl a few times before. Every time we came home from a date, her father would be in his big leather chair, fully dressed, waiting for us.
“As I went to pick her up the evening of the dance at the university, her father said, “What time will you be home?” I responded, “Sir, as you know, this is a special dinner-dance at the university; the dinner is scheduled to be served after the dance, so we would like to stay out later than usual.” I added, “You may not wish to wait up for us that late.” He simply said, “I will be waiting for you.” The dance was special, but the dinner service was terribly slow. I soon developed indigestion. The longer it went, the worse I felt. When we got back to her home, I found the father had kept his promise. There in his big leather chair was this wonderful, concerned family patriarch waiting for one of his fine daughters to be safely back under his own roof. He said something like this, “What keeps you out so late, James?” (“The Highest Place of Honor – Women,” James E. Faust, General Conference, October 1988).
President James E. Faust went on to say, “It is a grave responsibility and a transcendent blessing when a man and a woman make vows and covenants and receive the ordinances of marriage. When within the covenant of marriage a man and a woman invoke the great powers of creation, they literally become partners with God in creating new human life. Thereafter a man has a sacred obligation of support, care, and protection for his helpmate and the children he has fathered. (“The Highest Place of Honor – Women,” James E. Faust, General Conference, October 1988).
President James E. Faust also said, “The priesthood cannot work out its destiny, nor can God’s purposes be fulfilled, without our helpmates. Mothers perform a labor the priesthood cannot do. For this supernal gift of life the priesthood should have love unbounded for the mothers of their children. Men should give them honor, gratitude, reverence, respect, and praise. A man who fails to gratefully acknowledge his debt to his own mother who gave him life is insensitive to the Holy Spirit. I wish to acknowledge to both my mother and my wife a debt which is so great I shall never be able to repay it.” (“The Highest Place of Honor – Women,” James E. Faust, General Conference, October 1988).
Finally, President Faust said, “I do not believe that God’s purposes on earth will ever be achieved without the influence, strength, love, support, and special gifts of the elect women of God. They are entitled to our deepest veneration, our fullest appreciation, and our most profound respect. I believe angels attend them in their motherly ministry.” (“The Highest Place of Honor – Women,” James E. Faust, General Conference, October 1988).
President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “Woman is God’s supreme creation. Only after the earth had been formed, after the day had been separated from the night, after the waters had been divided from the land, after vegetation and animal life had been created, and after man had been placed on the earth, was woman created; and only then was the work pronounced complete and good.
“Of all the creations of the Almighty, there is none more beautiful, none more inspiring than a lovely daughter of God who walks in virtue with an understanding of why she should do so, who honors and respects her body as a thing sacred and divine, who cultivates her mind and constantly enlarges the horizon of her understanding, who nurtures her spirit with everlasting truth.” (“Our Responsibility to Our Young Women,” Ensign, September 1988, page 11).
President N. Eldon Tanner gave a talk entitled “No Greater Honor: The Woman’s Role” in which he said, “The whole purpose of the creation of the earth was to provide a dwelling place where the spirit children of God might come and be clothed in mortal bodies and, by keeping their second estate, prepare themselves for salvation and exaltation. The whole purpose of the mission of Jesus Christ was to make possible the immortality and eternal life of man. The whole purpose of mothers and fathers should be to live worthy of this blessing and to assist God the Father and his son Jesus Christ in their work. No greater honor could be given to woman than to assist in this divine plan, and I wish to say without equivocation that a woman will find greater satisfaction and joy and make a greater contribution to mankind by being a wise and worthy mother raising good children than she could make in any other vocation…. I would urge all husbands, fathers, sons, and brothers to show our great respect and love and try to be worthy of the women who are our wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and sweethearts. There is no surer way for a man to show his lack of character, of good breeding, and of quality than for him to show lack of respect for woman or to do anything that would discredit or degrade her. It is unchristianlike, unfair, and displeasing to God for any husband or father to assume the role of dictatorship and adopt the attitude that he is superior in any way to his wife.” (“No Greater Honor: The Woman’s Role,” N. Eldon Tanner, October 1973).
Small Talk with Bill Ross 